I could write “what a year!” once again, but I think that’s a given. I’m trying to imagine how history will look back on 2020. Will it be the same way I look back on major historical events with a glaze of “wow - imagine to have lived through that?” when of course, having lived through it for most people was the usual routine of their days along with the looming knowledge of this major thing happening in the world. I finished reading PD James’ Time to be in Earnest recently, and she describes being in hospital after the birth of her first child during the bombings of WW2 - being wheeled into the hallway at night because it was potentially safer than being in the ward, while the babies were taken to the basement for safety. Her nightmares of what would happen if they were bombed and she couldn’t get to her baby were so heart-wrenching. The things that people have lived through are incredible.
In the same book, she mentions an encounter with Iris Murdoch at an event. (Side note: she wrote the memoir during her 77th year, and the number of events she attended and spoke at is exhausting and inspiring.) Murdoch’s name rang a bell, but I couldn’t quite make the connection in my sleepy evening-reading state. And then as I was clearing out my inbox this morning, there it was - in a Brain Pickings newsletter that I have had sitting there for ages to be read. The idea of “unselfing” as something that Nature and Art are uniquely positioned to enable us to do is fascinating; allowing us to moving beyond and outside of ourselves. It’s a term I hadn’t encountered before, but it’s definitely something I’ve experienced. It makes me feel inspired to both experience more for myself, and to share that with others.
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Thomas had his first horse lesson today. It was absolutely delightful to see how much he (and Tulip the horse) enjoyed it. I’m trying to savour every delight that I can, especially this year.
There have been so few cases of COVID here that things have felt relatively normal for awhile now. School resumed in person, and I have been continuing to see most of my students in person, with the looming knowledge that at any moment everything could change. It’s been different than any other year, that’s for sure. Sanitizer, masks, and staying distanced are starting to feel normal. But the looming threat of the possibility of another lockdown if cases get out of hand is always there. I’ve heard many people talk about the uncertainty of these next months and years and how that is probably the most difficult thing to process. Of course, we don’t have any guarantees at any time for what the future holds, so in many ways it’s the same, but with one major new factor that we know about that could change things.
Having my hands occupied always helps me to move through difficulties, and I have some Christmas planning to do. I’m going to make a large wreath for our garage door again this year; one of my favourite little yearly tasks, along with putting together the planters for the front step. I found a spot a few weeks ago with lots of rosa multiflora rosehips that will become a beautiful adornment for the house; maybe a wreath for the front door. We’ll do something special for solstice, and don’t yet know if we’ll be able to visit extended family. Holding things lightly is more important than ever right now.